No Surprise

Sometimes you hear the right song at the right time, and something just clicks and falls into place. I’ve always linked events in my life to songs. There is a power in hearing someone sing words that reflect your emotions and your experiences. I now have an FPIES song. I sing it to Carter and we dance around the house together. I feel like I’m singing directly to FPIES and it helps release some of the hold it has on my life. The song is “No Surprise” by Daughtry. The parts in ( ) are my thoughts and how I relate this to our current situation.     

I've practiced this for hours, gone round and round
And now I think that I've got it all down (countless hours of FPIES research) And as I say it louder I love how it sounds
Cause I'm not taking the easy way out (not listening to the first Dr who said he was fine)
Not wrapping this in ribbons (FPIES isn’t pretty, and I’m going pretend it is)
Shouldn't have to give a reason why...
It's NO SURPRISE I won't be here tomorrow (Someday this will be gone)
I can't believe that I stayed till today (Not going to let it hold me or Carter down anymore)
Yeah you and I will be a tough act to follow (We do make a darn good FPIES team)
But I know in time we'll find this was NO SURPRISE
It came out like a river once I let it out
When I thought that I wouldn't know how (Didn’t think I would be able to handle FPIES)
Held onto it forever just pushing it down
Felt so good to let go of it now (Blogging)
Not wrapping this in ribbons
Shouldn't have to give a reason why
It's NO SURPRISE I won't be here tomorrow
I can't believe that I stayed till today
There's nothing here in this heart left to borrow (Not giving away anymore of myself)
There's nothing here in this soul left to save (Carter and I have saved each other)
Don't be surprised when we hate this tomorrow (Who doesn’t hate what this has done?)
God know we tried to find an easier way
Yeah you and I will be a tough act to follow
But I know in time we'll find this was NO SURPRISE
Our favorite place we used to go (All the dinners out that rarely happen anymore)
The warm embrace that no one knows (those countless late night snuggles)
The loving look that's left your eyes (the glazed empty look his eyes get during a reaction)
That's why this comes as no, as NO SURPRISE (that we have fought this hard)
If I could see the future and how this plays out
I bet it's better than where we are now
But after going through this, it's easier to see the reason why (I know it will get better, and after all we have done, it has to)
It's NO SURPRISE I won't be here tomorrow
I can't believe that I stayed till today
Yeah you and I will be a tough act to follow
But I know in time we'll find this was NO SURPRISE
The kiss goodnight, it comes with me (FPIES won’t take this)
Both wrong and right, our memories (The guilt of missed triggers and reactions)
The whispering before we sleep, just one more thing that you can't keep (FPIES won’t take away those moments)
Our favorite place we used to go
The warm embrace that no one knows
The loving look that's left your eyes
But I know in time we'll find this was NO SURPRISE
I just thought I’d share. I’m sure we all have sons that lift us up and make us cry at the same time and this is one of those for me. Carter will probably grow up singing it!