Today . . .

Today.  The easiest time to deal with, is now. The future is too scary and the past is full of guilt from all the missed signs.  As I was updating, Carter woke from his nap much earlier than usual and screaming. I walked upstairs and could smell the diaper before I even reached his room. This is never a good sign. His diaper had exploded. It completely covered his back all the way up to his hair line. I can’t say I was surprised. We had a birthday party at our house for Middle Man’s 3^rd birthday and we went to another party Sunday. Every time we encounter a situation where there is unsafe food, we have some sort of minor reaction. He was cranky and showing obvious signs of discomfort this morning, so the diaper was the next predictable step. He seems so much better now and is finally drinking his formula today, after a 24 hour refusal.

So what do I do about food exposure? Keep him home all the time in a bubble? Never let him experience the normal parts of childhood for fear of food? Miss out on so many family memories in case he finds a crumb on the ground? No, I can’t and won’t do that. I have just become hyper vigilant about food. It’s stressful, but it allows Carter to have normal experiences. The broom, vacuum and dust buster have become some of my closet friends.

It does seem that every time we go out and are around food, his sleep is disturbed. I thought that maybe it was an accidental exposure to something. My husband took a lighter approach and thought that maybe the food gave him nightmares. I wonder if food’s as scary for Carter as it is for me . . . 

We can’t stay at home in our bubble forever, especially not with two older boys who want to and should enjoy the world around them.  But we risk another severe FPIES reaction. So we limit dinners out and even eating in front of him. I have lunch while he naps so he doesn’t cry for my food.  We have been lucky so far, but I wonder if the risk is too high.  I need to draw a line in the sand; I’m just not sure where to draw that line.